doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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