Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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