Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
