My pussy is not your playground.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
