I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
