Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
