You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
