Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
