NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
