can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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