Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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