he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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