Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
