I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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