The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
