All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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