One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
