all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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