Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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