if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
