I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
