Your mouth is God's brothel.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
