dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
