I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
