found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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