I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
