please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize