Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They took my balls.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
