Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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