I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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