And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
