His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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