WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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