Ambien. No doubt about it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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