Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
