textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I had to cum in my sink.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
