Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
