The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize