what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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