We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
