It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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