"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
