Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
