non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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