On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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