I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
