Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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