At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
