dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
