FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
