Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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