She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
