Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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