Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
