I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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