Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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