i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
