I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
