areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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