but the lizard people decide everything anyway
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dicks are not precious.
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