we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
